I spent years of my life involved in one unhealthy relationship after another. At the time I didn’t realize just how unhealthy the relationships were. Today I want to share with you the characteristics of an unhealthy relationship because many of you may not even realize that you’re in one.
The primary identifier of an unhealthy/toxic relationship is simple it doesn’t make you feel good. You find yourself sad, angry, annoyed or just generally unhappy most of the time. Let’s break it down. Shall we?
3. Trust – there is none.
4. You don’t confide in one another. Instead, you confide in friends, family, and co-workers.
5. You speak negatively about your spouse to others, often complaining about how unhappy you are.
6. You aren't friends.
7. You have developed unhealthy habits that you usually do together. Drugs, excessive alcohol consumption, pill-popping, and overeating.
8. You have fallen into the pattern of - fight, break-up, and makeup. This pattern seems to be the norm for your relationship.
9. Violence shows up in your relationship- Punching, hitting, kicking, slapping, throwing things and/or verbal abuse.
10. One or both of you often threatens to leave the relationship.
11. The relationship lacks affection
12. You or your partner no longer desire sex or lacks physical attraction for the other.
13. Your spouse often disrespects your privately and in front of others.
14. Codependence- You can't do anything or make decisions without your spouse; and or maybe you're financially dependant on your spouse.
15. You're in the relationship for the wrong reasons- fear, kids, financial reasons, you're unhappy, but don't want them with anyone else.
This list goes on and on, but I think you've got the idea of what an unhealthy relationship is.
I can tell you this, being in a toxic relationship is miserable and life is too short for that. Healthy and Happy relationships do exist.
Next week I will cover the reason why we find ourselves involved and/or stay in unhealthy relationships.